Advice · Relationship

Can’t Help Someone That Doesn’t Want To Helped

You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. This is a true statement that I had to find out the hard way. Last year in month a June I was introduced to this guy through a mutual friend. He was nice, sweet, down to earth, and had a good sense of humor. Things were going pretty well between for the short time that we’ve known each other, but there was a couple of things that I had to pay attention to.

The first thing that caught my attention was the fact that he had a child. Now I didn’t have a problem with the fact that he had a child, but I did have a problem with him living somewhere else while he left the child in his parents care. Coming from a single parent household myself I could not understand why he would leave his child at his parent’s house with him pretty much having full custody.

The second and deal breaker that caught my attention was his alcohol intake. In the beginning I did not make a big deal about it, but as time went on I noticed that when we were hanging out and we indulged in some alcohol that he would over indulge. He would over indulge to the point where I had to take care of him.  There were times where he would have a whole bottle and a half to himself.

I approached him about my concerns and I thought that he had calmed down with his overindulgence, but he only ended up hiding it better. I tried everything I could think to help him. I even started hiding and emptying out beer bottles.  The nail in the coffin was one afternoon we were on the way to go grocery shopping, because I offered to make us dinner for our stay in date night. When I first go into the car I noticed a contraption (which I found out later was a breathalyzer), but did not question it. As we were riding up to the store I noticed that I had to call to his attention quite a bit that he was swerving slightly into the other lane. By this point I was scared and I wanted to get out of the vehicle. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse this fool crashed into the curb of the drive into the parking lot of the store. I was too through after that and I had to break up with him.

Trying to help him out of something that he did not want any help out of was draining me emotionally. I was depressed and I could not take it much anymore. It pained me so much that I could not help him and I really wanted to; however he will not be willing to get any help he needs until he is ready.

It took me a while to come to terms with what happened between me and him.  I eventually came to terms that I want him to get better that’s all I wanted, but unless he wants that for himself you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to  be helped. All you can do is pray for them.

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