Hello!!! Today I want to share something that is helping with my self healing.
How the Walls Form
Everyone has had that one person that has damaged them beyond repair. It could have been a past lover, a very close friend, or in my case a family member. Your first interaction with family will determine how you interact with people outside of your family. The person that has damaged me was my father.
My father was not around while I was growing up. I knew about him and he knew about me; however, I did not know where he was. He did not want to be known. Eventually when I reached the tender age of 16 that changed. I wish I could say that it changed things for the better, but the cold harsh reality is I would have been better off leaving things as they were. There was a lot of new information that I needed to know, but it really put up very secure walls.
The walls I put up have helped me through quite a few potential relationships. I was able to not be hurt for a while, but now with the person that I am seeing I can potentially ruin whatever could happen in the future.
Bringing the Walls Down
1) Establish Trust: I had to make some real personal leaps and bounds within myself in order to being to think about allowing who i’m seeing in. Since day one I have paid close attention to everything that he has told me and observing to see if his actions match up.
2) Share Some Information: Start off small. Maybe share small things from your childhood that not a whole lot people know, or share some of small goals and dream that you are actively beginning to achieve.
3) Make Some Adjustments: Send text messages more often, or become the first one to call every once and while.
I am following these steps and things are progressing smoothly, but before hand things were not so great. I was pretty much writing him off to be a stereotypical male and not giving him an actual chance. I was not really getting to know him, and he was picking up on it. I had to come to the realization myself that if I did not loosen up a bit I would be alone for who knows how long, because I am refusing to let others in. Do not wait until it is too late to let others in. They could be the one. You would be kicking yourself in the butt if the reason they leave is you, and you see what you could have had when they’re with someone else.
The couple of methods that I listed above are working for me at the moment. What are some that work for you?
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